I had been formulating a different post in my head – but now as I am trying to sleep, my mind is full of words unwritten. I started my blog to connect with others and promote my etsy shop, but find myself drawn to sharing more of my personal journey. There is so much more to me, and my family than what has been posted here previously and now I feel so strongly the need to share.
You see in January my husband I were hurt. We were betrayed when a covenant bond was broken in our church. Where he was the pastor and shepherd to a small congregation. When things got difficult a few members of his board decided that the church would be better without him/us and in our “best interest” opted to find a new pastor. In the weeks following, the majority of families left, and then the church was dissolved. We had been committed there for over five years and God had kept us there to see the church through the storm, but we were not given the opportunity to see that through. And to watch as the vision we had been given for this church disappeared was gut wrenching.
As we have been going through the grieving process, disbelief, anger, depression and such, my faith has not been altered. I trust that God is looking out for me and know that He will provide for all of our families needs. I find that my faith grows in the little things each day, not allowing me to get bogged down in anger and resentment. I see His faithfulness in my kids, in the morning light each day, in the friendships that continue to grow outside of church, in my husband, as he loves me, and in the little things that make me smile in spite of the hurt.
I know that He hurts with me, He knows my pain, He knows your pain. Allowing ourselves to grieve our past hurts makes room for His glory to shine in our present lives. In God’s grace we are able to draw near to Him – especially in the hard times and He will carry us through.
“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
In sharing this my only hope to encourage you to not hide from your hurt, but allow God to work in you. Last fall we did a ladies study with the book “Living Victoriously In Difficult Times” by Kay Arthur – I have gone back to this book in the last few months and been so encouraged by the promises that God has given to us in the Bible. It is a great, quick study!
Blessings to you –